


Depth Over Distance

by trappedinamatchbox



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-04-25 17:05:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14383122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trappedinamatchbox/pseuds/trappedinamatchbox
Summary: "But most of all, she missed living in a world where she wasn't helplessly in love with a man she couldn't be with. A world where the pain from a broken heart was something that she had just read about in a romance novel, something intangible, not real."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I tried, you guys. I really tried to stay away from writing Timeless fics. It had been easily at least a year since I had last written anything, but these characters kept talking and talking in my head and I just had to get the words out.
> 
> It's angst. It will probably hurt. But it will get better, I promise.
> 
> Also, couple of notes: Thank you so much to Lizzie (@lizziethat on Twitter) for being patient and yelling at me for my own good -- even if it's "LUCI, GO WRITE. Thank you so much to Iambeck for her help with the title. This fic would still be untitled if it weren't for her and she only had a half assed summary to go on. She's a hero!

The bottle of vodka she had taken from their pantry was getting lighter every night, Lucy thought to herself, as the liquid burned its way down her throat.

Alcohol was the only thing that could help her sleep these days. It seemed like seeing the man you love get back together with his not-so-dead-anymore wife was the tipping point in Lucy Preston's disaster of an existence. 

Ha! Existence. Get it? A snort escaped her lips and she rolled her eyes at her own tasteless joke. At least she existed, unlike her sister, who had been erased from existence by whatever they had done during their Hindenburg mission. At least when Amy was around, her life wasn't this unthinkable chaos with her own mother trying to get her killed, but also promising that she's doing it out of love.

When Amy existed, she was married to her career and she had been content with her life. It wasn't super exciting, but at least she didn't nearly die on pretty much a daily basis and she didn't have a target on her back, courtesy of an evil organization that wanted to rewrite history. Time travel was just a pipe dream.

And her heart… well, her heart was still intact. She missed that life. She missed a world where her baby sister was living and breathing. She missed her mother… God, she missed her mom so much.

But most of all, she missed living in a world where she wasn't helplessly in love with a man she couldn't be with. A world where the pain from a broken heart was something that she had just read about in a romance novel, something intangible, not real.

Something that couldn't actually exist. Something that didn't make her feel like she needed to tear her heart out and throw it far, far away in order to stop the pain.

She knew it was for the best. She understood why Wyatt had to do this, she really did. The rational part of her brain had made sense of the situation, and come to the conclusion that him being with Jessica was the only possible outcome. His wife was alive again. Of course he had to be with her.

And the hilarious part was that she couldn't even bring herself to not like Jessica, because the woman was incredibly nice. She could see why Wyatt loved her so much and she understood. She did.

She just wished it didn't hurt so goddamn much.

Jessica had been with them for a few days when she ran into him in the kitchen, late at night. It was well past two and she just couldn't sleep. They had successfully sent JFK back to where he belonged a couple of days before and the pain in her arm was still almost as intense as the one in her heart.

It was bad enough that her brain wouldn't stop thinking about things it had no business thinking about, but the pulsating pain in her arm wouldn't let her find a comfortable position to sleep in. So when 2:45am rolled around, she gave up and padded her way to the kitchen to get some tea. Maybe some chamomile would help her relax enough so she could actually get a couple of hours of sleep.

She had just put the kettle on, her arm hanging painfully and uselessly to her side, when a noise to her right made her jump nearly a foot in the air. Turning around, her wound protested at the sudden movement and she groaned at the sharp pain around her stitches.

Wyatt looked at her sheepishly, hands in the air in surrender.

God, it hurt just to look at him. 

How had she allowed herself to fall so hard for this man, only to crash into the ground so spectacularly?

“Jesus, Wyatt. Make some noise next time, will you?” She let out a breath, her good hand covering her galloping heart. “Almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Didn't mean to scare you,” he apologized, taking a step in her direction. “I was out there watching TV and heard some movement coming from the kitchen. Thought I'd see who was roaming around the bunker at three in the morning.”

“What are you doing out here so late?” She asked him curiously. Shouldn't be be with Jessica? Making up for lost time?

He shrugged. “Can't sleep.”

“Yeah, me either.” Lucy let out a heavy sigh and closed her eyes for a moment. “Thought some tea might help. Want some?” She found herself offering before her brain could register what she was doing. 

What the hell, Preston? Remember how you should stay far, far away from Wyatt Logan, she told herself, but it was too late. The corner of his lip was already doing that infuriating half smile thing and her heart skipped a beat. This was ridiculous. How could she be this affected by a simple smile?

“Sure,” he nodded, smile growing, and stepped even closer to her, turning the stove off when the kettle started screaming loudly, the sound echoing through the silo. “Let me get this for you.” He offered, taking the kettle from her hands. “How's your arm?”

She shrugged. “I'll live.” 

“You still taking antibiotics?” He prodded further, pouring hot water on the mug she had set aside. Lucy sat down at the table and nodded, grimacing when the movement pulled at her stitches.

“Doctor said I should do a full two weeks of the stuff. Still got a few days.” She replied, focusing on the mug in front of her. 

She shouldn't be out here at this ungodly hour making small talk with Wyatt. Just the fact that they had been reduced to this, small talk, already hurt too much. She didn't even know what to say to him.

Silence fell over them and she tried to drink her tea as fast as she could. The few times she stole a glance at him, she could see that he seemed to be struggling with their new dynamics just as much.

After what felt like an eternity, Wyatt broke the silence and the ever growing tension that seemed to pile up between them.

“I know this is an awful situation, Luce.” He sighed and she finally found the courage to meet his eyes. 

He looked so torn. She swallowed hard.

“You're doing the right thing, Wyatt. It was just… bad timing.” She tried to force a smile, but she clearly didn't succeed, because he immediately reached for her hand. “Don't. Please.” She protested, pulling her hand away, but he wouldn't have any of it. “You shouldn't do this.”

“I don't know what I'm doing, Lucy.” He confessed, her hand still captive in his. “It's not like. Like I can just turn it off, you know? How I feel about you.”

“But you have to. For all of our sakes.” She sniffled and cursed herself for not keeping a tighter lid on her emotions. “We can't do this. I can't do this. Please.”

“I hate this, Lucy. I miss you. I miss us. You're my best friend in this godforsaken hell hole. What am I supposed to do?” His eyes looked so conflicted, so at a loss of what to do, that Lucy had to close hers to try and collect herself.

“You've wanted Jessica back more than anything for so long, Wyatt.” She swallowed again, standing up. “You've earned this. You need to give your marriage another chance.” Pulling her hand away, she circled around the table and placed her hand on his shoulder. “You deserve to be happy.”

She was about to turn on her heels and leave when he surprised her. One second she was gently squeezing his shoulder, getting ready to leave and go lick her wounds in private, and the next she was in his arms.

“What about you?” He whispered in her ear, his arms tight around her waist, and she cursed her body and when a shiver ran through her at his touch. “You deserve to be happy too, Luce.”

A deep breath. That was all she could muster as a tear slowly made its way down her cheek. She allowed herself a moment in his arms. Just a moment of weakness as she tightened her good arm around him and breathed him in.

Swallowing hard, she gently pushed him away.

“I'll be fine.” She tried to be firm and offer him a reassuring smile, but her voice shook despite her best efforts. He tried to reach for her again, but she shook her head and stepped away. “Goodnight, Wyatt.”

She didn't look back when he called her name.

A bottle of vodka found permanent residence under her bed the next night.  
\---

The sound of her laughter was the only thing echoing through the silo. 

It was late at night and they had just returned from an exhausting mission in 1776 just a few hours ago. Emma had jumped a couple of days before and they had spent the better part of the past two days running after her and the sleeper agent in an effort to not let them interfere with the independence process.

He had nearly lost his damn mind when Emma's bullet missed Lucy by barely a couple of inches. He didn't think twice before tackling his historian to the ground without a care for his own life. It was his job to keep her safe. 

His Lucy.

God, he missed her.

It had been a couple of months since he had gotten that text from Jess, turning his entire life upside down -- even more than it already had been. Two months since he had last seen Lucy’s carefree smile directed at him. While she was more than courteous and friendly to Jess, Wyatt knew he had broken her heart; knew she was keeping up a brave face to the world, pretending she was just fine; but he knew better. He knew her. 

And to be honest, her heart hadn't been the only one shattered when that text message alert made his phone ping in his pocket. He was elated that Jessica was alive, of course he was. She deserved another chance at life and he was so glad to see her smile and breathe and tell bad jokes just like she used to, and he was so grateful for this. So incredibly grateful.

But now that she was actually here, sharing the same space with his team, Wyatt had come to realize that he just didn't feel that all consuming love for her anymore. He would always, always love Jessica. She was his first love, his first everything and there was a special place reserved for her in his heart for all eternity.

It was just that… he wasn't in love with her anymore. She didn't make his heart beat faster or his breath catch in his throat when she smiled at him.

Not like Lucy. Not like his historian, his favorite person in the whole entire world. The one person who made him genuinely smile and who also had a firm hold on his heart, even if she thought he was better off with his wife.

How had it even come to this? How had they gotten here?

The sound of her laughter echoed through the silo again, making him smile. It was late and he had just gotten up to get a glass of water. He thought she was decompressing with Jiya, laughing away her troubles with the techie; he'd noticed they were a lot closer these days.

But imagine his surprise when he walked into the kitchen only to find Lucy -- his Lucy -- grinning at Flynn with a beer bottle in her hand. Wyatt swallowed a sharp intake of breath, but she heard him, anyway, her eyes meeting his for a brief second, before looking away. Her smile faded for a moment, but she seemed to immediately pull herself together.

“Hey,” she offered a greeting with a small smile that didn't reach her eyes. Flynn turned around to face him and raised his eyebrows in question. “Want a beer?”

Her voice sounded friendly and warm and God, he missed her so much. But her eyes told him a different story and never had he wanted to say screw it and just pull her into his arms and never let her go more than he did right at that moment.

What had he done?

“I, uh. I just came to get some water.” He replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Flynn continued to watch him like a hawk, and Wyatt had to close his hands in tight fists to not punch the smug look on his face. “Thought you'd already gone to bed. It was a tough mission, Luce.”

“Yeah, I just couldn't sleep,” she replied quietly and shrugged, looking down at her bottle while peeling away the label with her nails. “You should go to bed, though. I'm sure Jessica is waiting for you.”

Again, her voice was so warm and friendly and soft, but he caught the slight tremble to her hands, and had to take a deep, calming breath when Flynn reached out and covered her trembling hand with his. 

Was this how things were between them now? Had he lost her for good? To Flynn?

Unable to get any more words out, he nodded and turned around, hightailing it out of the kitchen like a coward, finding it impossible to watch the hollow look in her eyes for another second.

“Lucy…” he heard Flynn's voice and stopped in his tracks. He knew he shouldn't, that he was invading her privacy, especially if things were different now between Lucy and Flynn. But his curiosity won out and he hid in the shadows.

“I'm fine,” he heard her say, her voice catching. A beat of silence followed and then he heard a bottle slamming on the table. “I should probably get to bed.”

“Lucy…” Flynn insisted, but Wyatt heard a chair moving. “You can't let him keep affecting you like this. This isn't healthy. You can't-”

“I said I'm fine.” Her sharp voice startled him and he thought he should probably get the hell out of the hallway before she found him eavesdropping. “I…” a heavy sigh followed the suddenly exhausted tone to her voice. “I'm trying. I really am.” She sounded hollow, just like her eyes had been, and Wyatt had to take a deep breath, leaning his forehead against the wall, willing the cold surface to calm his erratic heart.

He had done this. Lucy had already had a miserable year and he only contributed to it, adding his own heartbreak to the pile already suffocating her.

God, what had he done? Why was he still letting her suffer like this, dangling Jessica in front of her when he knew he wasn't even in love with his wife anymore?

Hell, even Jess knew it. They fought constantly these days and his love for Lucy was something that she threw in his face every single time, even though he kept denying it. Why he still tried to fool himself was completely beyond him.

The sound of footsteps broke him out of his self-pity party and he scrambled to get the hell out of that hallway as fast as possible.

Like the coward he was.

\----

It took Wyatt another week to find it in himself to talk to Jess and put all his cards on the table. He kept seeing Lucy and Flynn hanging out constantly these past few days and he had almost convinced himself that they were officially a thing. 

Jiya and Mason seemed to have welcomed the ex-terrorist warmly into the group, so it now felt like he was the outcast. Rufus wasn't so hot on Flynn, but it seemed that even his pilot friend was warming up to the guy. So even if he had already lost Lucy, it made no sense for him to keep leading Jessica on. It wasn't fair to her and he didn't want her to waste this second chance at life by being stuck in a secret military bunker with a husband who wasn't 100% there for her.

Their break-up was a lot easier and lighter than he thought it would be. Jess agreed it was the right thing to do and confessed that her heart wasn't in their marriage anymore, hadn't been for a long time.

And that was that. When she left, Wyatt felt lighter than he had in years.

He caught Lucy's eyes when he returned to their common room and he knew they all knew what had just happened. She didn't hold his gaze for long, but he saw her let out a sigh. Jiya immediately distracted her, though, and their moment was broken -- if you could even call it that.

\----

Wyatt really, really despised visiting any war periods during their missions. When the Mothership had jumped this morning, he'd felt a sense of dread, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand at attention. Emma had been quiet for almost a month, but according to Agent Christopher, their new destination was Boston, January of 1915. 

Great, so they were going to land in a world in the middle of the first great war and they could potentially also freeze to death. Wonderful.

He listened attentively to Lucy's history briefing and watched her hug Jiya and Agent Christopher before getting into the Lifeboat. The three women had really bonded in the past few months and Wyatt was glad to see that Lucy had someone in her corner, even if it couldn't be him. 

Ever since Jess left, he had been trying to win at least her friendship again. Even if that was all she could ever give him, he'd be fine with it. He was well aware of how badly he had messed up, how deeply he'd hurt her and broken her heart. He wouldn't blame her if she never trusted him again, but he'd be damned if he didn't die trying.

So he tried little things. Getting the coffee maker running before she made it to the kitchen in the morning; paying attention to the things she mentioned she liked to eat and trying his best to recreate it when it was his turn to cook; keeping her company when she stayed up late researching whatever Rittenhouse was up to.

He wasn't sure it worked -- or if she even noticed what he was doing -- but he kept doing it, anyway. So when they entered the Lifeboat that afternoon, he leaned forward to buckle her in, something she hadn't allowed him to do in quite a while, but he’d still kept trying.

To his surprise, she didn't slap his hand away this time and a small smile turned the corners of his lips up as their eyes met. 

Progress.

His happiness was short-lived, however, because they landed in the middle of a snow storm, which effectively stranded them in the Lifeboat for hours. In all their time going on missions, they had never had to sleep in the Lifeboat before, not all of them, and by hour three, they were all going stir crazy.

When the storm finally subsided, it was almost morning, so they waited for first light to finally make their way into town. Lucy's best guess was that Emma was after Joseph P. Kennedy Sr., JFK's father. In January of 1915, he lived in Boston and was the assistant general manager of a Bethlehem Steel shipyard. His wife Rose was pregnant with their first son, Joseph Kennedy Jr.

The Lifeboat had landed in a deserted field just outside of Boston, but due to the snow storm the previous night, the track into town was a miserable, freezing tumble through snow. By the time they reached their destination, his socks were wet, so were his wool pants, and he was having a hard time to keep from shivering.

Looking at Lucy, he immediately shed one of the layers of clothing he had to wrap it around her shoulders, on top of her already thick coat. While her dress didn't have a huge puffy skirt, it was still a long one and it was now completely soaked from her knees down. She was visibly shivering, teeth chattering, and he had to restrain himself to not take her in his arms. Instead, he just put his suit around her shoulders and rubbed her arms gently, trying as best as he could to warm her up.

“Wyatt, come on. You don't have to do this, you need your suit.” She protested, but he only shook his head, rubbing her arms again. “It's freezing out here, you need to stay warm.” She tried again, but Rufus came to his rescue.

“No offense, Lucy, but you look like a human popsicle right now. You need this more than he does, trust me.” His friend pointed out and Lucy scoffed, looking at Flynn. The ex-terrorist only shrugged, so she found Wyatt's eyes again.

“Fine, just for a little while.” She relented and he let out a relieved sigh.

“That's all I ask.” He grinned at her and they turned right on the street Joseph Kennedy Sr supposedly lived. It was still early morning, so they were hoping to catch Mr. Kennedy at home. “Okay, guys, keep an eye out for Emma. Stay alert.” He instructed his team and kept his hand on his gun handle.

Just as they were approaching the house, bullets started flying. Wyatt immediately pushed Lucy behind a car and grimaced when he felt something burn on his lower abdomen as he shielded her with his body. Still, he kept his gun out and managed to hit two of Emma's goons, leaving the rest to Flynn.

The pain flaring up from where he'd been hit was making him see dark spots in front of him and he could hardly hear Lucy's panicked voice. The fear in her eyes was the last thing he saw before darkness engulfed him.

\---


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But it was when she saw the amount of blood that had poured out of him during their trip back, and then later, when she saw him flatline and the doctors doing CPR on him that her heart decided she couldn't live in a world where Wyatt Logan didn't exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are FANTASTIC. Thank you for the very warm welcome to the fandom and I love each and everyone of you. I'm so sorry if I didn't reply to your review, but time has not been my friend this past week. I will get to it, I promise! As always, thanks to my angel editor Lizzie for assuring me this isn't a piece of crap and yelling at me because I'm evil.
> 
> This is now a 3-parter because Lucy Preston doesn't know how to shut up. And it's more angst. I'm not sorry. Things will get better, though! Pinky promise!

Chapter 2

“Wyatt!” 

She felt more than heard his grunt of pain. They had been so close to Kennedy's house when Emma's guys ambushed them. Wyatt's first reaction had been to protect her, like always, but she had known immediately that something was wrong when he hesitated in firing back.

Despite being injured, he still managed to hit two agents, her stubborn, stupid soldier. But apparently that was his limit, because the next thing she knew he was falling into her, and it was all she could do to hold him before he fell head first to the ground. Lowering him slowly to the snow-covered cement, she used nearly all her strength in an effort to not make his injury any worse.

Only then she noticed the dark stain on his stomach, growing and spreading at an alarming rate. She'd thought this had only been a graze, but Wyatt had really been shot.

Some of the first aid training Agent Christopher had made them all go through when they first started this jumped to the forefront of her mind, and she immediately took off the suit he had put around her shoulders only a couple of minutes before. Bunching it up as best as she could, she pressed it against his wound as hard as she could in an effort to stop the bleeding.

“Guys!” She called out, but she could still hear gunshots and Rufus and Flynn were nowhere to be seen. Wyatt groaned when she pressed down hard again and his eyes fluttered open. “Hey, hang in there, alright?” She told him, trying to sound calm, but her shaky voice definitely gave her away.

“You have to… to press down on-” he gasped as she did it again. “Need to take the bullet out.” He grimaced, his voice coming out with what sounded like a Herculean effort. “Lucy…”

“Shhhh, don't talk. You need to save your strength until we can get you home, okay? You're going to be just fine.” She reassured him, but the crippling fear she was feeling made her voice shake so badly that it was nearly impossible to control the tears that threatened to escape her eyes.

Silence finally surrounded them and she looked down at him. His blue eyes were filled with tears.

“Luce, I need… I need to tell you-” Her soldier insisted, but she shook her head. “Please.” He begged her and she bit her lip hard to keep from crying. Despite her best efforts, the suit was already soaked with his blood.

“Nope. You're not dying on me, Wyatt Logan. Don't even dare think about it.” She told him firmly, but a tear escaped her eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but she shook her head. “Don't. Whatever it is you want to say, you can say when we're back to our time and you're recovering in the med bay, okay? Guys!” She called out again, her voice sounding desperate even to her own ears.

“Oh, god, Wyatt!” Rufus exclaimed and Lucy breathed out a sigh of relief. “What the hell happened?” He took over her job in pressing down on his wound and Wyatt groaned again.

“Got shot.” He gasped and Rufus looked down at him with a deadpan expression.

“No shit, Sherlock.” He retorted and Wyatt chuckled for a second before groaning in pain again. Rufus gently rolled him over and checked his back for an exit wound. “Looks like you're going to have a matching scar on the other side, man.”

Lucy watched her boys joke around and wondered how they could possibly laugh when Wyatt's life was literally slipping through their fingers. She took position behind him, running her fingers gently through his hair, much like she had done in 1941 when they were driving back from Oakland. Rufus had taken a driving shift and she and Wyatt had taken to the backseat. She had started to run her fingers through his hair absentmindedly, lost in her own giddy feelings, and before she knew it, Wyatt was nodding off.

Now as she did the same, she watched as he closed his eyes for a moment as her fingers ran through his hair, and she knew he was thinking about the same thing when he finally opened them again and met her eyes.

“Come on, kids. Let's get Logan back to the Lifeboat.” Flynn's voice interrupted her thoughts and she looked up, raising an eyebrow at him. “The Kennedys are safe, took out another two agents inside.”

“And Emma?” She asked quietly, rocking back on her feet to let Rufus and Flynn help Wyatt to his feet.

“She ran, but I definitely hit her. She's probably on her way back to the Mothership. No way she's going to carry out the mission with a bullet in her shoulder.” He explained and she nodded, praying they would be able to make it back to the Lifeboat fast enough to get Wyatt the care he needed.

The track back to the Lifeboat was even more grueling than the first one, but at least this time she had adrenaline on her side. She was so terrified of losing Wyatt that the cold was barely registering in her brain. When they finally made it back to their time machine, she grimaced as Flynn and Rufus put Wyatt in his seat.

He was barely conscious and Rufus had to hold him up straight so she could buckle him in.

“Luce…” she heard his voice and found him struggling to keep his eyes open. “Lucy…” he tried again, but it looked like he didn't have the strength to keep talking.

“Hey,” she leaned forward and took his hand in hers. “I'm right here, Wyatt. Just hang on. We're going home.” She squeezed his hand one last time and buckled herself in.

He needed to be okay.

\---

His mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. And God, the pain. The pain on his lower abdomen was so intense, that it felt like his side was being ripped open. A groan escaped his lips and he tried to open his eyes, but it was like his eyelids were made of lead.

“Hey, I'm right here.” Her voice sounded so far away, but it soothed him. Wherever he was, she was with him and that was all that mattered. Even if he was about to die. “Jiya, maybe we should get the doctor back here?” he heard her again, but it sounded like it was coming from even further away.

No, he needed to go back. He needed to stay with her. Lucy, no. He needed to stay. But the pain was finally gone and he fell into the abyss once more.

The next time he heard her voice, it was in a whisper, like a prayer. Again, he tried to open his eyes, but his body just didn't feel like cooperating. He could feel one of her hands in his and the other running through his hair. It felt so good and he wasn't in pain this time, so if he could just open his goddamn eyes, everything would be perfect. 

She was here. They were going to be okay.

The third time he heard her voice was the one he finally managed to open his eyes for a moment. She was humming something quietly, something that sounded like a lullaby, so soothing, her voice so soft, that he had a hard time trying to keep his eyes open.

His entire body felt heavy and the strength it took to move his fingers felt like a monumental effort. But he did it. And he squeezed her hand.

She stopped humming immediately and her eyes found his. He tried to smile.

“Oh, my God,” she breathed, squeezing his hand back, suddenly pulling it closer to her heart, holding it with both her hands. “You're awake.” She closed her eyes and he watched groggily as a tear slowly ran down her cheek. “Thank God, Wyatt. Thank God.”

“How bad?” He croaked out, his voice hoarse, like it hadn't been used in a million years. He swallowed hard, his throat parched. “Water?” He asked and she nodded, moving away only to retrieve a plastic cup with a straw.

“The doctor said you were really lucky it missed any major organs.” She sat back down on the chair and took his hand in both of hers again. “But you lost a lot of blood. God, Wyatt, I thought you were dead when we made it back to the present, I thought-”

She took a deep breath and he watched in anguish as she struggled to keep it together.

“You needed a blood transfusion and we couldn't even take you to a goddamn hospital. So Denise brought the hospital here. I don't know how she did it, but we got a couple of doctors in here and they managed to stop the bleeding and hook me up to you.”

Wyatt frowned. What could she possibly mean?

“I'm O negative,” she explained with a small smile. “Universal donor.”

“Lucky me, huh?" He tried to joke, but his voice was still barely a whisper. His head still felt too light. “Lucy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please.” He tried to say, while whatever was running through his veins gave him the courage. He needed to tell her, needed to explain.

“Hey, you're awake!” 

Rufus interrupted his jumbled thoughts and he wanted to scream. He needed to get this out. Needed to tell Lucy that his heart belonged to her and only her. He felt her squeeze his hand again, before bringing it to her lips for a gentle kiss.

His world exploded in fireworks.

“Hey, man,” Rufus interrupted again, this time approaching his bed, and he felt his friend's squeeze on his ankle. “So glad you're not dead.” The pilot grinned at him, but Wyatt could see an overwhelming relief in friend's eyes. “You had us worried there for a sec when you decided to part with like 90% of your blood in the Lifeboat.”

“Rufus!” He heard admonishment in her tone and had to chuckle, but immediately regretted the action when the pain in his abdomen flared up again. “I'll go get the doctor to check you out, Wyatt.” She said and stood up, letting go of his hand. 

Before she could walk away, he grabbed her hand and tried to pull her back with the little strength he had.

“Luce…” he started, but she squeezed his hand again and nodded.

“I know. Later.” She promised and he all but sagged with relief. He wasn't sure what exactly she meant, but it sounded like progress, judging by her tone.

He nodded and let her go, closing his eyes for a moment. The pain in his lower abdomen had decreased to a dull ache and he tried to focus on something else.

Turning to Rufus, he found his friend watching him with a small smile.

“She hasn't left your side, you know?” The pilot told him and he swallowed. “We could barely get her to eat or sleep.”

“How long was I out?” Wyatt asked curiously and Rufus looked down at the bedsheet.

“Three days.” Taking a deep breath, his friend tried to smile. “You scared us half to death, man. I thought you were a goner for a minute there.” A corner of his lips went up. “But the doc said you're going to be fine. You got lucky that whoever did this was a lousy shot.”

“How is she? She said they used her blood on me.” Wyatt swallowed, his throat parched again. Rufus helped him sip from the plastic cup again. “Was she hurt? I don't… I don't really remember.”

“We had to carry you back to the Lifeboat. Through the snow. Lucy nearly lost it when we saw how much blood you lost during the trip back. It was a mess, man.” He shook his head. “I don't even know how Agent Christopher got the doctors to come here and basically transform this hell hole in a room sterile enough for surgery.”

“How is she, though? Can she even donate blood? I mean.”

He didn't get a chance to finish because the object of his question came through the door, followed by two men he had never seen before and Agent Christopher.

“Master Sergeant Logan.” The taller of the two men nodded at him. “Glad to see you're feeling better.”

\----

The relief she felt at hearing his voice again was enough to bring her to her knees. Lucy had spent the past three days hoping and praying that he would wake up and that everything would be fine.

The doctors had said that it would be a waiting game. They obviously didn't know Wyatt had travelled through time while he was bleeding out, but hemorrhage had been almost enough to kill him, despite the fact that the bullet missed any vital organs.

Watching the doctors perform CPR on the man she loved had been the worst moment of her entire life. If she had lost him then… what else would she have to live for? Her sister was gone, her mother was trying to get her killed; if Wyatt hadn't survived… 

God, she didn't even want to think what her world would be like without Wyatt Logan. Even though they hadn't been on the best of terms in the past couple of months, things had finally started to change for the better in these past few weeks. She knew he was trying. That he wanted to earn her forgiveness, but the truth was that there was nothing to forgive. Not really.

They had been put in an impossible situation with absolutely no precedents or a road map to guide them through it. So they had tried to navigate it as best as they could, but even then things got messy.

And when Jessica left, she hadn't quite known what to do, how to react. She wasn't sure she was up for having her heart on the line again. Not this soon. Maybe not ever.

The pain of a broken heart was something she never, ever wanted to experience again. So for a while, she had remained firm in her stance to keep her distance from Wyatt. 

Maybe it was for the best. Maybe what happened in 1941 had been just a fluke and they shouldn't try to pursue something that could crash and burn down the road. If they tried again and things didn't work, where would that leave them? Where would that leave the team? It had been hard enough the first time.

So no. Lucy had every intention of keeping him at arm's length. But she didn't count on her soldier being so stubborn, so persistent. It wasn't like he was coming onto her or anything -- it was the little things he did. She tried to play it cool, but she knew exactly what he was doing. And her stupid heart had other ideas than her brain and the walls she had put around it had already started to come come down. 

But still, she was terrified of risking everything again, only to have the rug pulled from under her. 

Again. 

So when they left for 1915, she had decided that she would take things slow and just see what happened. It sounded like a solid plan until that gunshot rang through the freezing cold air in 1915 Boston.

Her resolve to keep him at arm's length crumbled to the ground when she felt his warm blood soak through the thick coat she pressed against his wound.

But it was when she saw the amount of blood that had poured out of him during their trip back, and then later, when she saw him flatline and the doctors doing CPR on him that her heart decided she couldn't live in a world where Wyatt Logan didn't exist.

Watching him now talking to the doctor, three days after she thought her world had ended, was as close to a miracle as she would ever experience in her life. And she would be damned if she was going to let that second chance get away.

Lucy hung back while the doctors examined him, saying a silent prayer to whoever was out there listening, thanking them a million times over for bringing Wyatt Logan back to her. 

Rufus nudged her shoulder and she jumped, startled.

“Told you he was going to be okay.” He smiled at her and she nodded, a happy smile turning the corner of her lips up. “You should get some sleep, Lucy. You'll be no good to him if you're sick.” He suggested gently and she nodded again, resting her head on her friend's shoulder.

They watched in silence while Denise talked to Wyatt and Lucy raised her hand in greeting when the doctors and their fearless leader left the room, giving Wyatt the all clear. He needed to rest and stay on his antibiotics, but it looked like he was recovering nicely.

When it was just the three of them, Rufus pressed a kiss to the top of her head and left.

And then there was just the two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best. Thank you so very much for the support and I hope you like how this ends. As always, thank you to my angel editor Lizzie. She yelled at me a lot, guys. If it weren't for her, this chapter would still be in my head and not here.

**Chapter 3**

Wyatt watched as Lucy nodded at whatever Rufus was telling her, before the pilot squeezed her shoulder gently and left the room, following Agent Christopher and the doctors.

And then -- _finally_ \-- they were alone. 

They stared at each other in silence for what felt like an eternity and Wyatt used that time to catalog everything about her. Her entire stance spoke loudly to the hell he had put her through these past couple of days by getting himself shot. No, scratch that -- the hell he had put her through these past few months, ever since Jessica had crash landed into his life again.

She had lost weight. Lucy had always been petite, but he could see that the clothes sagged on her a little bit, how pale her cheeks were, how her eyes radiated a sadness so profound that it gutted him to think that he was at least partially responsible for that. 

Lucy seemed to be doing the same thing to him and when he couldn't take anymore of her scrutiny, he lifted up his hand and reached out to her.

“Come here?” He asked quietly, sighing when a corner of her lips ticked up and she finally pushed herself off the wall.

She crossed the room in four long strides and stopped at his side, her hip against his bed. He longed to touch her, but he wasn't sure what he should do, what was even appropriate here. And that thought alone just killed him, because he and Lucy had always been very tactile with each other, even when they were just friends. The thought that they had gotten to this point, where he didn't even know if it was appropriate to touch her, felt like a knife to his heart.

It was his fault. All his fault. He had ruined everything they had because of his stupid, reckless actions. Because he didn't think before he acted. Like always.

“Hey,” her quiet, soft voice interrupted his downward spiral in self-pity, and he met her eyes. They were so expressive, so open and he wasn't sure what was happening, but this definitely looked like progress. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” he offered a small smile, which only widened when she took his hand in hers. “But I'm so glad you're here.” She returned his smile for a moment, but a frown soon took over her expression.

“You scared the hell out of me, Wyatt.” She whispered and he watched at a loss as a tear escaped her eyes. She quickly brushed it away with the back of her hand and shook her head, trying to pull herself together. “I watched you die here. Your heart stopped beating. I-” 

Her voice caught in her throat and he didn't think twice before pulling her down to an awkward side hug. The movement pulled at his stitches, but he didn't care. The woman he loved was in pain and he was the one who had caused it. He had to do something. He had to fix it.

She went willingly for a moment, before struggling to sit up, mumbling something about his stitches. With the little strength he had, he kept his arm around her to hold her in place.

“I'm right here, Luce.” He whispered in her ear and the sob that shook her entire body was so strong and gut-wrenching that he he hated himself for giving her any reason to cry at all. “I'm okay. We're all okay.” 

His hand travelled up and down her back soothingly and he breathed out a sigh of relief when she finally relaxed and laid down next to him, head on his shoulder. He could feel her tears soaking through the horrible hospital gown they had left him in, but it didn't matter. As long as he had her here in his arms, that was the only important thing. 

Her sobs continued to wreak through her body for another few minutes and the sharp pain in his heart only got worse. Finally, when it seemed like she could breathe almost normally again, he touched her chin gently, making her look up at him.

Her brown eyes were still full of tears, but so open and full of warring emotions, that he couldn't help himself when he pressed his lips to her forehead, then her cheeks, and then briefly brushed them against her lips, swallowing the gasp that escaped her mouth by kissing her again, if only for a moment.

“I love you so much, Lucy.” 

He closed his eyes, not ready yet to see her reaction to his confession, but the overwhelming amount of love he felt for this woman just seemed to pour right out of him. He didn't want to spend another second without her knowing how she was the center of his universe, how he couldn't live without her.

“Wyatt…” she started, but he shook his head, pressing another kiss to her forehead.

“You don't have to say anything. I just…” He took a deep breath and held her closer, reveling in the feeling of her body against his. It had been so long since he had last held her like this. “I just need you to know how I feel about you. How I've always felt about you. That I'm not going anywhere.”

When he met her eyes again, he saw something that he hadn't seen in his Lucy in a really long time -- since that fateful morning when he got Jessica's text -- a flicker of hope. She had been so happy then, radiant even, and he had pulled the rug right from under her, leaving her to pick up the pieces by herself. Again.

God, he was such an idiot.

“I'm so glad you're okay.” She finally whispered after a moment of silence. “I really thought I'd lost you. Watching the doctors perform CPR on you… Please don't ever do this again.”

“I'm so sorry you had to see this, Luce.” He let his hand run through her dark locks, longing to show her just how much he loved and appreciated her. How much he wanted her to be with him for the rest of his days. Forever. “I'm so sorry. About everything. You deserve so much better. So much better than me.” He shook his head and let out a heavy sigh. “I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I never meant to hurt you like this, Lucy. _Never_.”

“I'd say it wasn't your fault, but it kind of was.” She let out a tearful laugh. “But this was uncharted territory for all of us. We both did what we thought was right at the time.”

“And look where that got us.” He said dryly and she shrugged, snuggling closer to him. Her hand came to rest on his heart and he knew she could feel it racing under her palm. “I'm just so glad you're here with me. Right here. Like this. I don't expect anything, for the record. Whatever you want. You set the pace. I just want to have a chance to be a part of your life again.”

“I always want you to be a part of my life, Wyatt.” She told him, looking up to meet his eyes, her hand traveling up to trace his stubbly jaw. “That was never the problem. And given my recent breakdown, I'm pretty positive this made it clear that I don't want nor will I ever be able to live without a reckless hotheaded soldier in my life ever again.”

“I will gladly take that spot, ma'am. If you'll have me.” He promised and she smiled, her first genuine smile in his direction in months. 

Her hand gently pulled him down until his lips could meet hers and the moment their lips touched, he felt like the world had just exploded in a million colors. She kept it chaste at first, just a series of brushes and teases, until she nipped at his bottom lip and then soothed it with her tongue. Wyatt didn't think twice before granting her entrance, and the moment his tongue met hers, it felt like the world finally slipped back into its own axis.

They kissed lazily for a few minutes, but it seemed Lucy was extremely aware of his injuries, as she kept her touch light and didn't let her hand stray any further down than his heart.

She pulled away after a moment, resting her forehead on his jaw and he could feel how she was struggling to even her breathing. When Lucy looked up again after a minute, he was surprised to find that her eyes were finally clear and she was starting to look more like the Lucy that he knew and love. The determined look in her eyes searched his face for a minute and whatever she had been looking for, she must have found it, because she let out a heavy sigh and tucked her face into the crook of his neck.

He let out a sigh of his own and pulled her in closer to his good side, pressing a loving kiss to the top of her head.

They were quiet for a moment and he felt her breathing start to even out. When he was almost sure she had fallen asleep and finally allowed himself to relax enough to get some rest, her quiet voice startled him.

“Hey, Wyatt? For the record?” She came out of her hiding spot and kissed his jaw. “I love you too.” She confessed and he felt like everything in his life was finally falling into place. Hearing those words coming from her was everything and he found himself staring at her in a state of elated shock and adoration. “Now get some rest, soldier. I'll be right here when you wake up. I promise.” She said, lifting herself up to press another kiss to his jaw and then to his lips, before hiding her face in the crook of his neck again.

With a silly smile on his face, Wyatt finally let himself sleep. Sure, they still had to take out an evil organization that wanted to change history, but he had her. Lucy Preston. His favorite person in the entire world.

And that was all that mattered.

_Fin_.

**Author's Note:**

> Love it? Hate it? Come talk to me on Twitter at @lucianamangas!


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